- Chantez et vous trouverez votre chanson -

Life isn't about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.
     -George Bernard Shaw

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves- in finding themselves.
      -Andre Gide

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Freedom.

Well ladies and gents, I did it.

After about six months of thinking and debating...I bought a non-refundable roundtrip ticket to Paris for a two month solo trip and quit my job in PR.  Eeek!  I don't normally do daring things like this!!

Yesterday was my last day on the job and after a celebration to remember with all of my wonderful co-workers, I woke up this morning, grabbed a huuge iced coffee and hit the open road to Pittsburgh for family time before shipping out to France.

The road trip was exactly what I needed to sort my thoughts.  What is it about open windows, loud music and interstates that makes it so freeing?  During my seven glorious hours in the car (glorious=sarcasm...seven hours cooped up in a car without cruise control is never quite glorious), I sung, I cried, I used the steering wheel as my own personal drum set, I yelled, I daydreamed, and I tried to comprehend all that is currently happening in my life.

I basically pretended I was the only car on the road-- I bet those cars driving near me on the PA turnpike got quite the entertaining show, ha.  The level that I rocked out to Kanye, Lucky Boys Confusion, Danity Kane, Jay Z, Fall Out Boy and Dave Matthews Band normally does not come out unless I'm drunk at a karaoke bar.  And yes, I realize that is quiteee the variety of music; don't judge.

I don't know about any of you out there...but I'm kind of over this "transitional," early twenties phase of life.  It's so confusing and so many things are changing.  That simple, fun and protective shell of college is gone, people are coming and going in and out of your life, and I swear the thoughts in my head are completely spastic.  One minute I want one thing, the next I want something else.  And really, at this age, we can do whatever it is that we want to do, but most of us are just so utterly indecisive that no one can figure it out.  I know my life will unfold as it should, but could the Big Guy just give me a little heads up and point me in the right direction, or lend a clue of what the future holds?  It would be much appreciated.

What's funny is, I bet when I'm 40 and hunkered down with a family and a never-ending job (...because maybe that's how I'll be when I'm 40?), I'll look back and miss these exciting times when I could go out 3 nights a week and survive, and quit my job and hop to France on a whim. Such is life.

But, oh my god...I really can't believe I'm really going to France for practically two months by myself.  Ahhhhhh it's going to be great.  I'm feeling excited but scared shitless, adventurous but very nervous.

The countdown is on.  I leave September 2nd...18 days to prep.  More is definitely to come.

1 comment:

Brandi said...

It's Brandi. I tried emailing you see how you were. Congratulations. I hope you enjoy this journey to finding your song. There were tornados the weekend before when I was driving from Michigan to NYC through Pittsburgh. Travel safe.