Simplicity. Happiness.

After almost six years, I think it's time to end this blog. I've had trouble keeping up the posts, as you can tell by the dwindling number of posts per year. I'd like to blame it on my perfectionist streak - I can't even post a Facebook album without meticulous photo editing and caption writing, so it takes forever to publish a blog.

But, more importantly, I think my life has taken shape. When I started this blog in 2008, I needed an outlet. I wasn't happy, though I was trying to pretend (fake it 'til you make it, right?). My life felt out of focus and all over the place. It seemed like an interesting experiment to flex my creative muscles, write it all down and see if I was any good at that. And it was a fun experiment! For kicks, just read back through some of these posts. Some still feel really poignant and bring me back to those days, others make me roll my eyes.

My story isn't unique. I think these are feelings and issues most people have during those in-between years, right after college ends and you're spit out into the real world. Man, did I do some fun things while trying to "grow up," though. Travel (including a once-in-a-lifetime solo trip to France!), goofy nights with friends, ill-advised drunken decisions, beauty experiments, shopping addictions, adventures in cooking, finding my way into and out of debt... I kept it interesting.

With less than a month until my 29th birthday (cringe), I have to say, I feel pretty grown up. My life has a calm, happy rhythm, and I think it's primarily due to these three guys. They are my world and make me smile every day.

Having a job that allows me to write and be artistic, an apartment I can be proud of, and loving friends and family I can rely on helps, too. In a few words, the lessons VIPS in my life have taught me about being an adult:

Mom - love others, faults and all, always
Dad - dream a little dream, and keep it alive until it comes true
Evan - challenge yourself to do something great (this kid runs marathons!)
Regina - be strong, be kind, be open to what the world gives you
Rita - do your research and be bulldog for the things you believe in
Bryan - stay focused, be organized and be on time! (a lesson I still need sometimes...)
Mary - laugh at yourself, at others, at life
Sarah - embrace change, sometimes it can be pretty great
Theresa - never stop exploring; be a good friend to others
Jen - be poised and gracious (and a charming Southern belle if possible)
Amy - cooking is love; look for the deal everywhere
Minna - be spontaneous!
Karyn - it's okay to be exactly who you are, all the time

Though I will not be updating this blog anymore, I do still love sharing my musings and view of life in NYC. Here are two channels I do intend to keep up: Twitter and Instagram.

Six Words Can Speak Volumes

Phew. Valentine's Day is over. As any girl not in a relationship can tell you, Valentine's Day quit being fun after elementary school candy and card parties ended.

Now I'm not a compete cynic, I love showing other people that I care about them - I bought the three ladies in my office heart-shaped donuts from Dunkin on Monday! However, somewhere along the line, sharing your feelings with loved ones in honor of St. Valentine became a showy sport. Watching all your coworkers get flowers, hearing about battles over restaurant reservations and stepping onto a train full of guys carrying dozens of red balloons and bouquets of roses is just not that much fun for the rest of us. Am I being cranky or does that all seem a tad cheesy? I for one, would not know what to do with a bunch of balloons, and roses don't really thrill me (I do love the yellow ones, though)...

Rant over, but in honor of love - both present and lost - and the not-always-so-fun holiday that just passed, I wanted to share this. The New York Times recently posted an article about SMITH Magazine, a literary magazine that compiles narratives from readers, one of the most popular being their Six-Word Memoir project, the recent subject being love and heartbreak. It's Twitter-meets-poetry! These pared down love letters are beautiful and simple. Some are funny, some are sad, some are just plain heartwarming. Check out a few of my favorites:

Happy endings...

• Wounded heart healed by good man.
• Dog approves; maybe this guy's good?
• Clueless Newlyweds Kids Laughs Still Thriving
• Ups, downs and repeat. That's love.
• Just married. Still figuring it out.

Not so much...

• Love hurts. Choose vodka or valium.
• He wasn't worth the panic attacks.
• Loved her madly - then went mad.
• I loved, he tolerated, then left.
• Background check first; give heart second.

What would your six word memoir on love (or loss) be? Here's mine:

College love ended. I became me.

Ah, the joys of New York living...

Hey dolls, it's been a bit. Not sure why I've been out of touch - long hours at work, winter slump, lack of inspiring things to write about...excuses, excuses I know.

Well, even if it's only to explain how stupid I am and have it in writing that I plan to change, I felt the need to write tonight.

I have lived in New York for almost 7 years now, and for the first time, I had my bag stolen. I've been extremely lucky thus far considering I can be careless while out at bars - I tend to put my things down and forget about them and I may have thrown a phone or two into oblivion on a tipsy walk home, but I've always managed to come out without much damage. Not anymore apparently.

Last weekend I was fist pumping away to Pauly D's spins with my Snooki poof and JWoww dress at Sutton Place (yep, I really did that - check out my quote and pic here) and some GRIMY GUIDETTE stole my bag!! My expensive, favorite Botkier bag with all my belongings inside including nice digital camera, wallet with license and credit cards and apt/car keys. Miraculously I still have my phone. One second the bag was with me, the next it was gone. I must've been beatin' up the beat while texting, because there's no other explanation for me to have my phone and nothing else (hooray for multi-tasking!). Searched the bar, called the bar next day, filed a police report, posted a message on Craig's List...nothing. Tried tracking down my last remaining spare car key to no avail. I am now replacing door locks, car locks, credit cards, insurance cards, and sending away for a new license - not fun.

Game-changer. It's time I quit trusting people and became a full-blown skeptical, paranoid New Yorker. How am I going to change? Ohh let me count the ways.

1. No more expensive bags. If I'm only 24 and can barely afford my rent, I have no business carrying a bag that's over $100. Nuff said. For now, I'm relying on Urban Outfitters and sites like Lulus for trendy and not terribly cheap looking bags. And when I go out? Wristlets and bags somehow attached to my body only.

2. No more cameras in bars. Do I think I look good in drunk pictures? Because I don't. There's no need for me to take an expensive camera when I go out. I hate posting pictures on Facebook anyway. I'll leave the photography and bad pictures to someone else.

3. Multiple spare keys left in multiple places. And they need to live near me. Getting a key mailed from another state takes far too long and I've racked up way too many tickets. Thanks alternate-side parking laws!

4. Only one credit card and $40 max are allowed to come with me to a bar. I didn't have much cash on me when the bag was stolen, but seriously all my credit cards? What was I thinking? Canceling 3 credit cards and a debit card is a-nnoy-ing.

5. Time to become a NY resident. I'm sick of mailing PennDOT money and waiting weeks for a new, valid license every time I'm up for renewel/I lose it. Over it. I hate my latest PA driver's license picture anyway and I'm ready to quit paying double state taxes.

My 25th birthday is in exactly a month. Guess it's time I reel it in and man up to responsibility. Oy, wish me luck.

Fresh Air, Old Memories

Warning: This post may not hold any interest if you did not attend St. John's University.

Yesterday I needed fresh air, so I went for a long walk - the in 20 degree weather no less.  It felt good to be numbingly cold.

I wandered through my neighborhood and around the frozen pond down the street (where do the turtles go when the pond freezes over?), over to Jamaica Estates (Starbucks/Barnes & Noble stop), and then made the return trip.  I passed college friends' old apartments and remembered the fun we had in them and cut through St. John's campus and saw the changes and remembered the way it looked all those times I trudged through the snow to class.  It all seems so long ago already.  Specific moments flew back like a stream of consciousness. 

Walking past the house on 168th Place (the atrocity next door is finally built - complete in pink sandstone and adorned with large stars, ha), I remembered sitting helpless on the stoop one morning after I'd lost my cell phone and my dignity and needed to apologize, but couldn't wake anyone up to answer the door for me (What was I thinking?  What college kid would be up at 9:30am on a Saturday??).  And then the time I locked my keys in my car and we made a mad dash on the bike (complete with me on the pegs... hilarious in hindsight), whizzing past high school kids on 164th St. at 8 in the morning to find the spare keys in my apartment before alternate side parking came into effect at 8:30 (oh the guilt of making you race around with me to find them...I felt ridiculous standing on those pegs, and heavy, haha, you shouldn't stand on pegs past age 9).  At least we made it in time!

Now on Homelawn, I walked past another group of friends' house and thought of that awesome summer post-college, right after you guys moved in there and none of us realized life was going to change that much after we got degrees (kind of a bummer that it actually did).

As I approached campus, I remembered the moment I first set foot on campus (Is this what college is supposed to feel like?  Is this the right school for me?  Will I fit in...be homesick?). Oh and now the Great Lawn... ultimate frisbee on those sunny days and our ill-fated bake sale (that included some delicious melted chocolate pudding pie and lots of help from friends). Passing the church, I remembered when it was first built, and RCIA classes, and racing back every Tuesday/Thursday afterwards for lunch with everyone at Montgoris.  Remember when the St. Vincent Stairs didn't exist??  Now that was ridiculous (...cutting through 2 or 3 buildings just to get to the other side of campus... no sense).  Good ol' Montgoris - group dinners, morning-after brunches, stealing lunch trays for sled riding (and eating the same meal, the only one I could stomach, everyday... deli sandwich and cucumbers with ranch dressing).  Oh man, and then I saw Donovan Hall.  I looked up and saw all of our bedroom windows... the smoker's rock outside is gone now (God, I wish I was a freshman again).  Oh and that back fence that we'd hop to cut the corner on the way to Traditions... lots of cuts, ripped jeans and bumps from doing that every week, ha.  

Leaving campus, I remembered that dumpster/cafeteria stench and the air conditioner "rain" by Gate 6 (now that's actually just really disgusting, haha), and waiting on the curb for cabs to Bogarts  or - gag - DNA, hahaha.  That scary ROTC building with the barbed wire is now the Public Safety office (sans barbed wire, thank god).  Ohhhh those mundane nights of scanning IDs for Public Safety to make minimum wage.  Sgt. Anna!  She scared me and looked so tough.  Always thought she was a lesbian, but learned later she was preggers, so who knows. 

Then, I found myself en route to Traditions... We never wore appropriate outerwear, thinking it took away from our "hot" outfits for the bar.  Therefore, we froze our butts off during the walk and would borderline run and pretend we weren't cold.  "It's summer and we're wearing bikinis!!"  "It's so warm - all I'm wearing are shorts... and a top hat!"  Haha, don't ask.  There were so many walks (and stumbles) to and from that bar.

Funny how "fresh air" can bring back so many old thoughts and memories.  And that was only one side of Union Turnpike.  If I had gone to the other side, I would've passed two more old apartments and tripled the memories.

I guess it was a nostalgic day.

One Year Later

Over this weekend one year ago, I was graduating college.  (Cue in major bout of depression)

So what has changed?  Well, just about everything.  A lot of my friends have moved back home and I've fallen into the routine rut of the working world, but I have real money and I don't need to "study" anymore.

Congratulations to the class of 2008.  I know in some ways, you can't wait to get out of school, and it feels good to be done with classes and papers and lectures, but trust me, appreciate every last second of college life.  Over this next year, I promise you will wish on multiple occasions that you could run back to the dorms and do it all over again.

Here are my thoughts on what to expect during the next year:

Things can still be fun, but they will never be the same.

Whether you stay in the area of your school, or move back to your hometown or elsewhere, you will not see your friends near as often...even if you live only a few blocks away.  That said, when you do get together, it is just like old times (in a good way).

Even the slacker friends that barely rolled out of bed to get to class will find a job and clean up their act (on the weekdays at least!)  It's amazing what a suit does.

You will compare every major celebration to how it was the last 4 years...and 9 times out of 10, it will not live up to how it was then.

You will suffer through applications (if you're going to grad school), or resumes and the dreaded job search that everyone warned you about, and it will be more time-consuming than you ever thought possible.  But, eventually, if you keep working at it, you will succeed.  I promise.  

You will live for the weekend.  In college, you lived for the weekend, too...but really, if you wanted to go out on a Wednesday and skip class the next day, you could.  Now you will live for the weekend so you can sleep in...also so you can go out to the bars, but c'mon, I don't think that will change for awhile.

You will slowly stop wanting to go to the cheap college bar you lived at 4 nights a week, and desire to go to new and cooler places.  You will also realize it is possible to go out with less than 10 people, and that the world will not end if you stay in on a Saturday night.

You will have real money!  It will not be near as much as you dreamed your starting salary would be when you were in school, but hey, it's something.  Please don't blow it all.  It's hard, trustttt me, but save part of every paycheck.  (This only applies to those of you looking for a job. If you're going to grad school, sorry.  You'll still be poor.  That's what you get for still semi-living the college life.)

You will probably have a mini life crisis.  RE: What am I doing with my life??  Why did I major in that?  How do I find a job?  Where did my fun life go??  Someone tell me what to do please!  Take it one day at a time, and life will unravel in front of your eyes.  You don't need to know everything at age 22.  Live and enjoy being young. You will make mistakes, but you have plenty of time to make up for them.  We're young; that's what we're supposed to do.  

I hope I've imparted a little wisdom.  It's definitely an adjustment to leave the safe and simple community of college, but you will make it in the real world.  Sometimes, you miss the good old days, but keep in mind that there are still plenty of good memories to make.  Life is what you make of it; enjoy your days.